I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
