is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
where are you?
Hypothermia
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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