people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
