: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Randomize