I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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