you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
