You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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