She's JV to your varsity
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Randomize
