got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
