Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
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