I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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