I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
