I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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