We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
