Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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