I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
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