nut hugger
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize