Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
