i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
