I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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