hotel room ftw
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Come see our sink grown plant.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
