I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
