Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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