If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
