She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
