conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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