So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
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i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
last night I used snow as a chaser
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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