Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
