I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
