Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Randomize
