Do you still have your period?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
It's like God shit irony all over that family
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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