Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
