I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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