Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
