And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
