Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
