$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
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so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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