Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
