i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
You're a waste of cheezeits
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
