He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
