So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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