i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
