What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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