whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
you traded sex for a burrito?
bring money and cleavage
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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