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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle

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• (281): View more from Texas

  Thanks for getting me home last night.

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.

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• (641): View more from Iowa

  Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.

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  Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (636): View more from Missouri

  Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend

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• (850): View more from Florida

  So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?

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  Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him

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• (469): View more from Texas

  It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?

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