My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
