She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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