Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
