Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
We are two peas in an std pod
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
