My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
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the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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