Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
tonight lets celebrate not being married
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
