Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
