When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
In other news, I just burned my penis
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
