Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Drunk is not a location!
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
