she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
