my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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