I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
There r osticjed everywhere
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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