when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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