"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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