new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
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