mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Its about making memories worth repressing
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
