I swear she didn't look like that last week.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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