make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
