fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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