Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
We talked him into tasing himself.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
