Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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