just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
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