So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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