Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
